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  • Writer's picturePooja Jain

My Body, I Decide

Updated: Mar 8, 2021

She knelt beside the ivory stairs resting her back against the wall. Clutching her knees, she sought refuge in the warmth of her knees. It seemed that she had decided to deal with it, just like every other woman, and decided that it was her fault. He had called her overdramatic and testy to oppose his demands. Her body was not her's anymore and she had no right, whatsoever, in them: her mother advised her when she consulted her for a divorce.

Was the policy of 'let go' the only way out?

Rabia had a lovely past. Her youthful days had been filled with bright colors, friends, and family. She had found the love of her life in her friend Hassan, an exceptionally handsome man, tall with sharp black eyes. It was then, that she had believed her life to be a fairy tale with elegance, money, passion, and exuberance. Never would she have guessed that her future was going to be poles apart. After the marriage, days were no less heavenly. Bright flowers, blossomed the arrival of spring and butterflies etched melodies of color with their wings whilst sucking their nectars.

Is happiness just a temporary warmth or can it stay lifelong?

But, the colors didn't last long. The flowers turned dull and gray. Her youthful passion, soon, faded.

She resisted Hassan's needs and demands, only to find her defiance, being severely ignored, rather, mocked at. It continued, first, for days, eventually leading to weeks and months. She started hating herself, her soul, and her body. Her charm faded and overtook a look of deep resistance, disgust, and self-loathing. It was so undermining to her self worth to have so, someone, who was supposed to love and cherish her, invade her body. Had she known that under the guise of a normal and healthy relationship, hid such ugliness, she would never have wasted a single minute. And now, she was done. She stood up and walked down the aisle, wiping off her tears, and held her head high. Now, she realized, it was the time to be firm, to oppose and start a new beginning, far away from the societal pressure, deeming her to be her husband's 'pet'. She was, after all, a woman: one with pride, respect, and self-worth.

"If you have any doubt, leave, don't stay for anyone, get out for you. They may convince you that's it is all in your head but deep down you know it's not."

Is "shut up or, be shamed", the only way out? What do you think she should have done?


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