Dia couldn't stand it anymore. She had given her friends her absolute best since she had met them. She was probably the most exciting thing about their friend group back then—an all-rounder as a student in school; she was good at sports and had always been the one getting the best grades. It was her who was always great with people. All this made her one of the most popular kids at school. She wondered how things changed so quickly. She wondered how despite all her goodness, she felt held back because of what they did.
Dia had been scrolling through Instagram stories. Her parents had been pushing her to delete the damn thing from her phone for months now, and she wished she'd listened. It was ridiculous how her best friends could go out without even asking her to come with. Before her eyes, she saw filtered snaps of filter coffee, bowling balls with more color than her life these days, and plates upon plates of momos from her favorite stall with chutney as spicy as the gossip she was missing. At this point, Dia wished some of that gossip was about her, be it good or bad. That way, at least a trace of her would've been out with them last night, even if it was just her name.
The thing about Dia that was keeping her away from her childhood friends was the sensibility in her choices. She chose good, productive people as her friends (or that's what she thought). She always chose to eat healthy, except for fried momos. She chose her path in life by pursuing engineering because she loved math more than anything else in the world. She also decided to stay in and study most days, to work as hard as possible to earn the life she wanted. She knew what seemed to be setting her back socially.
She had changed schools after 10th grade and shifted to a "dummy" school, where she didn't have to attend school regularly, and she'd still get to write her finals to focus solely on her preparation for engineering entrance exams.
But her best friends stayed in the same school and had very different views about how they wanted to live their life. According to her, they were not very responsible. According to them, she was a mean girl.
So, they eventually stopped calling her, texting her, except on the occasions that they needed something from her. And she had seen this coming from a mile away, but she didn't think it would hurt this much.
She loved those momos. She was the one who took them all to that momo stall for the first time in 8th grade. Hell, she was the reason they all got to know each other in the first place!
She wished she could be free of all this FOMO, especially now that she knew what her friends were thinking. They had stopped calling her to go out after she said no the first two times because she had tests and had to prepare for them. It took too much space in her head, causing all sorts of negative emotions to run like a river. She was crying even though she knew it was useless. Maybe if she cried her eyes out tonight, she'd be able to fully manifest that those friendships are over when she heads to class tomorrow without a trace of them in her head, not even their names.